Posted by: alegra22 | June 11, 2009

Little Miss Thinks She Can

I think I can, I think I can...

I think I can, I think I can...

The nausea has passed, leaving Alegra, the Little Miss Engine That Thinks She Can revving her engines at the gates. Only when the gates opened, Alegra leaped forth into a flood of Things She Shouldn’t Be Doing, such as deciding that it would be a great ‘workout’ to move cobblestone bricks for over two hours in an effort to help the beginning stages of rebuilding the deck. Alegra sputtered. Hissing came out from beneath her hood. Three days after the fact, Alegra was still stalling out every time she tried to pour coffee into her gas tank. Alegra has learned her lesson: This pregnancy, slow and easy wins the race. Alegra will now stop referring to herself in the third person.

Unfortunately, at about the point when I realized I needed to be  producing 10,000 words of polished, final draft thesis/novel writing a month, life, in its typical tornado way, began picking up barnyard animals and tractors to hurl in my path and my engine gave out. At least it has felt that way this week, but I can’t complain because at the end of the day, everything littering my path at the moment equals some form of blessing or opportunity. I just need to put one step in front of the other, make lists and cross things off as I go. I will be resuming the previous Monday goal blog schedule in an effort to support this.

The little one is not so little anymore. I went shopping the other day for some yoga-style pants. They are the perfect pregnancy wear. I put two pairs on the counter and the saleswoman looked up, did one of those quick ‘female lookie-overs’ and said, “Oh, no wonder you are buying two of these, pregnant women love these!”

My first thought was, “Wow, you are brave for assuming I am pregnant!” Because all women know that the golden rule is: You don’t mention a woman is pregnant unless they look like they have a basketball shoved up their shirt and the due date is probably sometime that day.

But secretly I was relieved that I look obviously pregnant at this stage rather than, well, odd. My first pregnancy I looked odd. I have pictures to confirm. I once got into an argument with a group of friends when I told them I was not a cute pregnant woman. “Sure you weren’t,” they said, rolling their eyes. So I brought them my pregnancy photo album and slammed it down in front of them. They took one look at the photos and said, “Oh, you’re right.” One benifit of having blown out my stomach muscles with two pregnancies and c-sections is the slight vanity of actually getting to look pregnant instead of like a woman who is slowly turning into a tuberous vegetable.

We are twelve weeks now and the baby is the size of a lime. I am convinced I am already feeling him/her move. It only happens at night when I am very relaxed. ‘They’ say that you aren’t supposed to be able to feel the baby until 14 or 16 weeks but I have always been super sensitive to the goings-on in my body, and, hey, how I look at it is, a lime is a sort of a big object to be doing somersaults in your body without you catching on to the action. Plus, being on my third pregnancy I recognize the sensation. It is my favorite part of being pregnant. They often refer to it as a ‘fluttering’ as if there is a butterfly moving around inside of you, but it feels more like pearls being gently rolled around in the dark by a gentle and tentatively curious creature.

We are going in for the 12 week ultrasound tomorrow and I can’t wait. Seeing the reality of the baby up on the screen and the reassurance that all is on track is a special kind of magic.

So this week (now that the week is half gone), my goals are to:

1) Get the house in order for the arrival of my incredibly supportive and generous mum/dad-in-law, they are taking time off work to come stay with us and help us build the new deck

2) read through all the journal articles I have printed out and organize them into a thesis outline to present to my professor on Wednesday

3) finish and type up the first half of the novel synopsis with its new revisions, and, hopefully, begin to sketch out some chapters

4) set up a work schedule for the next six months

5) adore my new crosstrainer and watch many episodes of Weeds Season 3 while I break it in. Give my crosstrainer a name, just so I can coo to it while i work out.

6) to continue to chant in the face of tornadoes: I think I can, I think I can, I think I can

How has your week been? Plans for the week ahead? Anyone enter the Flash40 competition?



  1. I’m a new follower, so I’m not sure where you are in the novel process, but I gather you’re in the planning stage? Sounds like you’re perfectly positioned for it.

    To answer your Q’s:

    I’ve been TOO productive. All articles done and subbed. That leaves me twiddling my thumbs and nervously eyeing my dejected & neglected novel draft. It’s like a starving baby bird.

    Writers must be brave! Going to try to mimic your battle cry.

    • Hello Ailina!

      Yes, I have a few drafts of chapters at this stage and have finally streamlined the plot enough that I feel much more confident about the direction I am going. Now I am just trying to get some academic components of my thesis out of the way so that I can begin – it is going to be a real balancing act between thesis/creative writing.

      What are the articles about?
      Throw your baby some worms ;o)

      • Envious you have a clear plot trajectory! Ahhh…wonder how thesis/creative writing will turn out if there is a mutual project influence there. academic fiction? poetic thesis? 😀

        …parenting article – “The Husband He Will Be: Lessons from Mom on Marriage”
        …pet article – “The Amazing Dog Park Discovery” (dog’s 1st visit to dog park)
        …hula article – “The Spirit that Never Leaves” (on undying passion)
        …homeschooling article – “Crayons, Comic Strips, & Creative Writing” (on creative writing before a kid learns to “write”)

        Wish I were this productive all the time. 🙂 Going to dig for worms…

        • Those articles sound great, I am so impressed. I’d love to hear more about your novel too.

  2. Wonderful that you are able to set down such goals even during this time. Glad the nausea has passed.

    • Thank you Barbara. Yes, I am greatly relieved to be nausea free! Now I just need a surge of super-human energy ;o)

  3. Not sure if you read my blog post on the regurgitation process that seems to be my chapter at the moment, but I’ve mostly finished outlining the chapter and I’m putting the bits into some structure to make what I’m praying will be a beautiful mosaic (inside I know it’s a bit wonky and not really accurate, but I guess I run the risk and see if all comes out well).

    So I’ve been attempting to churn away at this thing. Tuesday was awesome, got over 2,000 (good) words out, and then yesterday wanted to poo all over me and I was struggling and gasping just to get 300. Today I’m hoping to get a bit more out.

    It sounds like you’re pushing yourself quite hard in many directions which I would think is (and it sounds like it is) quite exhausting.

    I was just thinking this morning how amazing and wonderful it would be to have a private Sherry Bobbins to clean up and sing songs all the time.

    Anyways, wishing you much luck with the writing. Sending yes-you-can-yes-you-can hugsies.

    • I think the pea-soup blog because I distinctly remember still being nauseated and looking at the exorcist girl and feeling empathy!
      I wish I had a private washer-upper…that is probably the biggest source of exhaustion for me right now, having to keep on top of maintaining the zoo (our home) because cleaning when prior children was usually deeply satisfying – things remained clean for awhile. Now it is a practice of digging holes on the tideline, the minute I collapse in exhaustion to admire the peace and beauty of my home, the two tornados come tearing through.

      Thank you for the ‘yes I cans’.

  4. COBBLESTONES!!! you didn’t mention cobblestones to me. You are in so much trouble.

    • Er…um…I meant cobble-pebbles!!!!! Or um, more like cobble-dust!!!!!

  5. I think you can too. That is all.

    • THank you my friend, I have been doing some anthology thinking…I am going to be in touch soon regarding it.

  6. This is so exciting Alegra! Congrats. Am i right in understanding that this is #3? I give you many props. One is kicking my butt up one side and down the other! And you manage to write? You MUST be superwoman.

    your newest fan

    • What a thrill to find you over here!
      Yes, this is number three, and, yes, it is total madness. If I am superwoman, I think this third pregnancy has presented me with my gleaming wall of kryptonite!
      This will be our last baby but we had to go for number 3 or we felt later on we would regret it. Believe me, you are not alone in the butt-whooping experience – I have found that once they get to about 4, they get easier – but my daughter just hit those wonderful, spirited *sputter, cough* two’s and I keep thinking to myself, “I signed up for this AGAIN?” ;o)
      For the last month or so I have mostly been writing in my sleep…someone ought to invent something that allows me to wake up with all those words actually on paper.
      Yours in mutual adoration,

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